THE TRUTH ABOUT MY WORK & HOW IT’S CHANGING.

I’ve been hiding something I need to be honest about.
For the past 10 months I haven’t really been telling the full, unadulterated truth.
Partly because I thought I needed to ease myself into it.
Partly because I was waiting for more answers.
Mostly because it’s another turning point in my life…and turning points can feel scary. It’s just so much easier to keep going forward when you think you know exactly what the road ahead holds.

But of course, that's some straight up bullshit 'cause we NEVER really know about the journey ahead with absolute certainty.
And now I've come to the point where the thought of staying still right where I am is more uncomfortable than the thought of just saying what needs to be said.

So here's my truth:

I love interior design.
I believe the real impact of design is much deeper than beautiful drapery & rich pillows & imported rugs & handmade tiles...but I love those aspects of it too.
I love how it feels to create spaces that make people say, "This is exactly what I wanted, I just didn't know how to tell you."
I love that I've made a space for myself out of thin air. I didn't fill someone's job description and what I'm doing--who I am + HOW I'm doing it--didn't exist until I was born. I'm pretty damn proud of that.
Hear me again: MY BUSINESS LITERALLY DIDN'T EXIST UNTIL I CREATED IT.
I love that I've been able to make a name for myself as a designer--that people have found value in the service I provide and that I've created work I can take pride in. I've designed amazing things with great companies and been exposed to some opportunities that I never, ever imagined myself having.

I like design a lot. I'll even say that I love design. But I'm not obsessed with it. 

I don't think about the blind spots to my design approach while I'm driving around.
I don't obsessively read every design book by every famous designer that's ever been published because I don't even own most of them. Matter of fact, I couldn't really care less.
My design magazines come in the mail and pile up for months because I don't immediately devour them to make style notebooks like I used to in the early days.
I no longer aim to fill my calendar with every single design event in Atlanta.
I don't care to stay in the know on all of the design blogger news and professional industry "scuttlebutt".
Something indeed, has shifted.
I like design. I even love design. But I'm just not there anymore. I've grown.
 

I know without a doubt that my greatest work is the work that is yet ahead of me--the work that's been waiting ever so patiently to be created. It revolves around Personal Empowerment, Personal Responsibility, Honesty, Authenticity and specifically, the Empowerment of Women (it's some serious work--it needs to be capitalized).

I think about it all of the time. 
I read about it all of the time.
I talk about it all of the time. (if you've ever had more than a 30 minute conversation with me, you can vouch for this!)
I write about it.
I post on social media about it.
I unpack it endlessly with my closest friends. 
We could be talking about a combination of your medical history, a 1964 Mustang, the weather in Istanbul & the benefits of Kale as a super green and I promise you--somehow, someway, I will bring that conversation back to Personal Empowerment. It's just how my mind makes sense of the world.
 
Telling the truth. Owning your own shit. Self care. Making empowering decisions. Personal responsibility. THESE are the things I want to spend my life working on.

I want to speak to groups, conferences & students about to remind them that Personal Power is a Personal Job. Coach women on uncovering & staying in alignment with their deepest values. Write books on how & the why. Host retreats for women creating authentic connections & empowered lives. Author articles. And boldly explore the corners of this world both on my own & with groups of courageous women. Annnnnndddddd....you know what??
I want to design some beautiful spaces here & there, too.
A few super cool projects every year for wonderful, bad ass clients with great budgets who love me, love my approach and TRUST me to do my thing.

Wait--did you expect me to say I was quitting design?? 
 

No--that's not exactly where I was going with this.
It's more about being radically honest with myself AND with you. And to serve as your personal reminder that life WILL change...and when it does it's so much easier to go where it is taking you than to fight against it. Nine times out of ten it will lead you to the place you most want to be anyhow, you just don't know it in this moment. So just relax & go with the flow. Trust me on this.

Yes, I still want to take on some design projects, but I'm looking for the RIGHT people and the RIGHT projects.
Cool projects, good budgets, funny, fun, quirky, interesting people...the kind of folks that carry their own pixie dust and know it.

And since I'm being so honest, let me just keep it 1000: 

It takes courage to turn business away when a glance at your bank statement reminds you that the easy way out is to betray yourself & just take the money anyway. It's one thing to talk about taking a stand for yourself & ONLY doing work you really love with people you really want to work with but....actually doing it?? This is a completely different ballgame, my friends. It's scary and empowering. Crazy and commendable. The kinda work that will put a bit of hair on your chest. There's no husband, partner, or sugar daddy over here to share the load--just me by myself (and God!) doing the very best I can to make it happen. Every.single.day. Me & my ballsy self.

Getting clear about your values, about who you are and then living in a way that conveys personal integrity is at the very core of sharing this publicly. Showing up for MYSELF. Making sure that who I ACTUALLY AM and who I SAY I AM are the exact same woman. This is some boss work, my friends, and while it may not be for everybody.....

IT IS FOR ME.

THIS IS MY JOURNEY.

So here's what I'm looking for:

If you're in need of design services--residential design, commercial design or brand -- you've got a few dollars to spend and *you're super cool, I'd love to hear from you. It could be a small project, a big project, a production project--but it must be interesting. Let's do something bold and have fun! You should be ready & willing to hire a designer and most importantly, you should want to work with ME, specifically. If you fit the bill, just reply to this email and let's see how we can create magic together.

If you are a woman who could use a little bit of my Personal Empowerment pixie dust--who's ready to evolve to the next level but isn't quite sure how to do it, who knows you've got some blind spots & you're ready face them head on, I'd LOVE to hear from you. I'd love to work with you and help you learn how to empower YOURSELF in a way that feels right for you. No more stories about him. About her. About what happened. About why it sucked. About why the business isn't working. About why you can't do whatever it is that you know you're supposed to be doing right now. Just you--right where you are, right here & right now--and me together, working together to move you forward into who you KNOW you're destined to be. If I'm talking to you, please drop me a line (reply to this email). I would LOVE to work with you. L.O.V.E. And if you're not sure that I'm talking to you, here's how to know: if you're reading this and getting a tingle then yeah, I'm talking to you. When you know that you know, you KNOW.

In the meantime, thank you for your support. For reading my words & sharing them with your friends, for hiring me to design your most intimate spaces & for always, aways ALWAYS cheering me on. It means more than I could ever adequately express.
 
Trust me when I say this is only the beginning.

**And FYI, you cannot vouch for your own cool factor--someone must have actually TOLD YOU that you were cool. Folk need to be vetted!! ;-) **

Xo,
d.

WHY AWFUL CLIENTS ARE GREAT FOR YOUR BUSINESS.

Awful clients.

The ones that want you to give them everything, at the highest quality, but then nickel & dime the budget. The ones that hire you to do a job but don't trust you to actually DO the job. The ones who won't acknowledge that they don't know what the hell they want. The I-already-know-how-this-works-because-I've done-this-before people (except that they don't know how it works) and the can-you-do-it for-cheaper? folks. Ridiculous turnaround times, unrealistic expectations, clients who think they can do your job better than you, & clients who just want to use you for your resources--these folks can quickly become an entrepreneur's worst nightmare.

Whether you're a Photographer, Graphic Designer, Personal Trainer, Copywriter, Fashion Stylist, Videographer, Baker, Producer, PR guru, Interior Designer or any other kind of creative business owner, you'll probably encounter one of these people at some point during the life of your business. Do I hope that they never--EVER--cross your path? Of course. But the reality is that they probably WILL show up along your entrepreneurial journey because they're there to teach you how to show up more fully in your business. Knowing them will raise your blood pressure, create tons of physical stress & almost make you were sitting in an office cubicle instead of crafting a career you love...but these people can be really great for your business if you can learn what they're really trying to teach you.Let me explain.

Over the course of my 5.5 years in design, I've probably had 3 clients who I'd put in the no-matter-what-happens-please-absolutely-never-ever-call-my-line-again category. Some as recently as 2015. With two of the projects there came a point where I thought, "there's not enough money you could pay me that would make this a pleasant-enough experience to continue"--too many changes to the scope, too many fluxuations in the budget & not enough trust to execute the project in a way that would make this collaborative design process fun. And for awhile I did what we normally do in these cases--complain to family & close friends about what an absolute hemorrhoid these people had become. But that quickly got old. And I knew deep down that they weren't just there to get on my nerves but that they (and my experiences with them) could teach me something, if I changed my perspective.Because all the "awful clients" are really doing is showing you where you need to "tighten up" in your biz--where you need to be more specific in your contracts, raise your prices, eliminate some services or set clearer personal & professional boundaries.

So I did. And here's what I realized: that in the beginning of my career, as a fresh & bright-eyed designer, I'd constructed an ideal client profile that consisted of something like this: Good eye.Great budget. And that was pretty much it. What I most wanted were clients with a good eye for design who'd let me execute my vision + a sufficient-enough budget ($10k & up) with which to execute said design. They should "benice", "be cool" and "be flexible". And when I found those people, I was straight up overjoyed. But now that I've had time to develop as a designer, expand my professional interests, work with a variety of clients & grow as a person (read: I've acquired some skin in the game),that short list doesn't cut it anymore.Not if I intend to continue doing work I love, for people I love working with.

Here's the invaluable insight The Awfuls have helped me realize: I'm no longer willing to settle for clients with just "good money & good style" and I can no longer focus on the traditional quantitative demographics like age, education level, marital status, family makeup & income level to identify the people I most want to work with(categories we entrepreneurs are traditionally taught to use). Instead, I've shifted to a Values-Based Client Profilewhich means I care more about WHO my clients are and what THEY value then what they're bringing to the table.TheAwfuls have schooled me on this:  My ideal/targeted clients are people with a high level of personal integrity--ones who take responsibility for their behavior. They're people who value my time as a professional & who understand that Interior Design is a professional luxury service. These people trust the process of design and understand that there's no one size fits all design approach. My ideal clients believe in the importance of self-care & view the creation of a beautiful home as an extension of their well-being. They communicate authentically, are decisive, have a great sense of humor & genuinely want to work with a designer. Do I still want them to have a stylish eye & enough of a budget to execute their wishes? Absolutely. But I don't worry about those things because they're encompassed within the values/standards I set regarding the people I want to work with. Because someone who understands that Interior Design is a professional luxury service would never belittle me or themselves by asking me to render a service for less than it's value. Someone who really wants to work with a designer will give me the freedom & trust to work my magic and create something jaw dropping for them. Someone with a high level of personal integrity is honest about their budget upfront. See what I mean?

Here's another example: If you're an "artisanal croissant maker", your client is not "anyone who can afford $2.25 for a piece of bread". It's someone who LOVES a delicious buttery & flakey croissant. Someone who will find a bakeshop they love & drive 20 minutes clear across town on a Sunday morning to read the New York Times & have a croissant because it's their "thing"--an act of self-love. It's someone who believes in the value of knowing where their food comes from. High quality butter.Locally grown ingredients. Developing relationships with the people who make their food. A person who believes that not just anyone can make "good bread".  If you're a croissant artisan or specialty bread maker, your clients are not "anybody who will buy a croissant"--you want the people who appreciate the value of the service you're providing. And if you really love what you do, you should want the same thing, too.

I'm not implying that when you encounter The Awfuls that it automatically means you need better people--that was just one of my lessons. I've also learned that if I have a misunderstanding with a client it's probably a sign that I need to update my contract & make sure the major details are in writing. And I've learned that I needed to stop giving clients discounts that they didn't ask for because giving without explaining the true value of the discount means they won't understand the value of the service they're receiving. And because of that, they will ride me bareback (not to mention that clients who want a discount should AT LEAST have the balls to ask for one).  Because I've had the ability to create my own path, I intend to work with the kind of people I genuinely want to be around. Think about these questions with regard to your biz: For whom are you making your product? How do you want your clients to interact with YOU? Who do you want them to be in their personal lives? What does investing in your product mean that they value?? I NEVER would this kind of clarity about my business & my tribe if it hadn't been for The Awfuls. When I got fed up enough & realized I never wanted to work with those kind of people again, it gave me the push to figure out the kind of people I DO want to work with, which has made all the difference. And it's also why I don't really believe in "awful clients"--I just see them as the guides who show us where we aren't in alignment with who we really are & what we really want. All they're really here to do is point you towards greater happiness....so acknowledge what you need to change & go change it. 'Cause your best work is still waiting for you.