To have someone who knows all of my stuff.
The good, the ugly and the secrets I shared so long ago that I forgot they belonged to me.
Who knows about the countless times when I had an opportunity to show up as my higher self but chose not to (or didn't know enough to do better).
Who knows all my shadows yet still chooses to love & support me anyhow, it's a kind of love I feel honored to hold.
Who has witnessed the massive emotional & spiritual shifts in my life and doesn't believe in all of the same things that I do but still tries her best to speak to me in "my language" when I need to hear it most. Someone who, at the same time, doesn't care about my shifts and sees it as her job to give me the truth as she sees it.
Who always says
"we" whenever she's actually referring
MY life, MY business or the moves I should make--
especially with regard to dating--because
she feels like if I do it then she's doing it too, never mind the fact that she's been married for almost 11 years (
"No...no...that's what we're NOT gonna do. That's O-U-T.").The older I get, the more I understand
the joy, peace and acknowledgement that comes from having a deep connection with people. To really be seen. And to be around those in whose eyes I'm always reminded that
I am enough. I believe that soul connections are an organic thing that can't be fabricated--either they're there or they're not--and as such, that they should be honored. When someone allows me into their life I always see it as an opportunity to learn more about myself in & through them.
And when I feel that pull, I will try to get to know you--to understand your life, hear your stories, learn how you process information--because this is how I make sense of my world! And the older I get, I realize what a blessing it is to have people with whom I can do that. My preference is raw, real, honest & naked relationships--the kind that hold you down & pull you up, ever pushing you towards your best self. I consider myself lucky that I have more than one.
The quality of friendship or intimacy isn't measured solely in years.
I can meet someone new & instantly feel a closeness with them that defies explanation but in a relationship that is intimate and decades old--spanning the crazy high school years, the ignorant college years, the unconscious after-college years and finally the "aware adult years"--I look at my friend's history and see my own. And when I look at the daughter she birthed almost 18 years ago, I see my stories play back before my very eyes. This didn't mean much at 25 but as I've gotten older and been a witness to how difficult it can be to make friends over 30, it's something I appreciate in a brand new way. I have 4 best friends and each of the relationships are so different...but there is only 1 who has known me since 15.
So to my dear friend: I see you, I hear and I love you.
Thank you.
